this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
