she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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