no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
