life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize