I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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