I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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