I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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