she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
