am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the day after is always just damage control
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
