i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
how does that bad decision feel?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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