He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize