I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
