Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
