Someone shit on the floor
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
