just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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