and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize