Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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