Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
