We won't sleep together?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
