Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
