It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
