Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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