Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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