I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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