I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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