in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
