you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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