I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
