im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
