you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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