I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
