It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
