ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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