Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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