I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
