Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
