trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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