so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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