I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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