Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
