how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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