i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Panties = found
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
