Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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