I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
