her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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