Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
