So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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