I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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