nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
