I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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