things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
