You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
