I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
PANTIES FOUND
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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