I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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