woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
