I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
