you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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