Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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