ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
