How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
