he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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