Four minutes until I can fart!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
