why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
