so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
