just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
