Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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